The Grammys!

Who else watched the Grammy’s??

I absolutely LOVE music, and while I may not love ALL of what was televised last night (Metallica….ehhh no thanks) I still really enjoyed last night’s show. Some of my favorite highlights:

Jay Z and Beyonce: “Drunk in Love” performance

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(Like seriously, fav power couple next to Kate & William!)

Favorite person ever aka Taylor Swift performing “All Too Well” with some of the most epic hair flippings that only she can pull off:

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And Kacey Musgraves winning Best Country Album of the Year!!

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I am in love with those light up boots.

I saw Kacey live when she came to my hometown for a concert, and although I’m not the biggest country fan, SHE WAS AMAZING!!!!! (If you haven’t listened to her, look up “Merry Go Round” or “Follow Your Arrow.”)

So yeah. The Grammy’s was fun. I had a mini party with my friends, placing bets on who we think would win by using mini Dove chocolates (dark, of course) in place of money.

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We like sugar :p And yes……we still need to take down our Christmas tree!!

This post would not be complete without a note of randomness, so I leave you with a picture of my puppy Alfie and a baby hamster I found on Pinterest:

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Alfredo needs a haircut.

 

 

 

The weight post (*grimace*)

*Warning: This is going to be one of those more-personal-type-ish posts…with probably a lot of rambling that doesn’t make much sense…so if you’re not a fan of that, I promise the usual stuffs with be back in a jiffy by the next post! lol. Also: I will be talking a little bit about my eating disorder in here, and I don’t want to trigger anyone else’s possible ED thoughts, so there will not be pictures.**

 …I know I’m probably not the only one who’s ever felt like this, but as track season approaches, I’m becoming more and more uneasy. I had such a great cross country season, with lots of personal bests and achieving my goal times, and for some reason…”living up” to that (i.e., living up to my coach’s/teammate’s/self expectations) seems more and more impossible. Why? Well….let me start from the beginning, sort of. Last year, the year I moved to a new school, was my first big year running. First year on cross country (needless to say, just getting used to running for miles and miles was fun, exhilarating yet exhausting!!) and then came track. Now, I have always been your average American kid growing up, with an amazing family and an amazing group of friends. But the summer before I moved, I was afraid I wouldn’t have ANY friends anymore. I had had the same group of friends since kindergarten, so the whole “making-new-friends” concept was a bit rusty. I figured to get people to like me, I would have to 1) get involved with something (I chose running, best decision ever!) and 2), the not-so-good: I would have to look as skinny, perfect-on-the-outside as I possibly could. I’m still embarrassed to admit that–obviously, there is SO much more to life than looks! I am gradually learning to accept the way I look and accept my imperfections….but I admit it is still a daily struggle. Anywho…basically, after cross country season ended in November, my thought process was “Wow that was fun!” “Wow I can’t wait for next year!” “I better keep in shape!” and…”I won’t be exercising as much as I used to…so I shouldn’t eat as much as I used to.” This escalated into me going from eating my regular lunch (PB sandwich with an extra side of extra peanut butter, snacks, etc) to a granola bar and fruit, to just a granola bar, to eventually a carefully-calculated, 150-cal thermos of oatmeal. Every day. At school. You can imagine the weird looks my lunch table would give me when I was picking away at my thermos of oatmeal and they were eating their chicken sandwiches and pizza like normal high schoolers. By the time track rolled around, I was so fatigued every day from the lack of energy that I came to dread running in the cold, early spring air. I was always freezing, even indoors. My lowest weight was about 98 pounds. (I had weighed about 106 at the start of the year.) And to say the least, I had a terrible, terrible track season, not reaching any of my goal times because I was so concerned with how many calories I was burning and not about the actual sport I had once found so exhilarating and rewarding. I had lost the joy I once got while running, replaced with this anxiety and intense fear of gaining weight.

Eventually, my mom made an appointment to the local hospital’s eating disorder program–and I am in therapy right now. You can imagine how I felt about this at first. But it has helped me recognize the patterns in my behavior–and I’m incredibly grateful to my mom for caring. 

Looking back, I’m ashamed more than anything by the fact that I was so consumed with these disordered thoughts. I still have trouble eating like a “normal” person, will freak out internally if I eat any unsafe foods, will worry about if I’m putting on weight, and I still need to break the habit of weighing myself obsessively and letting that number determine the outlook of my day. I definitely, definitely still have a long way to go–but the difference between this year and last year is that I’m determined to be honest with myself. One day, I would love to not have to worry about stupid stuff like calories and weight loss–it will take work, but I don’t think it’s impossible.

Merry (belated) Christmas!

Sorry (again) about the break in blogging lately. With winter break having arrived, not much has changed besides the fact that I now have a LOT more free time which has of course been taken over by various projects/activities/family stuff/much present hunting and gathering. But, I will be trying to post more regularly from now on–ideally every 3-4 days. 

So what have I been doing? Running-wise, it’s been wayyyy to cold (like in the “feels like -3″ category) so I’ve been doing mostly indoor treadmill runs. I don’t love running on the treadmill compared to running outside in the fresh air, sunshine, and pretty flowers, but at least its still something. Another thing I don’t like about treadmills is that they involve gyms which involves being confined like a sweaty hamster with a bunch of other sweaty hamsters in a small frenzied space. And, gyms and their vast variety of complex machinery (seriously, what are the functions of some of those things???) always make me feel like I need to do more strength training while I’m there. (I’m not exactly the buffest runner person around…but maybe some day I’ll magically grow some arm muscles?)

Anywho, Christmas was the absolute bomb.com. I just spent time with my family, and we have the most, er, interesting traditions (matching pajamas, annual puzzle, lots of cookie making, etc…yes, I’m that girl who enjoys hangin with the fam.)

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The bro & me :D don’t we look alike? yea not really…I used to think he was adopted for the longest time :p he’s the lucky one who inherited the tan allele lol.

I’ve also been having a blast taking a break from schoolio with friends:

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I’m very grateful that this break has been so great so far. I’ve had time to read a lot (anyone else like the Gone series???) and of course, watch more Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars and old episode of Gilmore Girls (my absolute fav.)

I hope everyone is having an amazing holiday season! 

Question of the Day: What was/is the best part of your holiday?

 

Finals and papers and studying oh my!

Sorry I’ve been AWOL the past week or so…projects have piled up and taken over my life :p. 

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Above, a small glimpse into my write up of my oral presentation for lit/the very thing that almost caused me to have a near panic attack. i hate talking in front of people more than anything and the IOP is 15 minutes of pure awfulness long! I think I said “um” a lot, but I got an A, so I’ll take it lol.

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^One of my vices thats currently helping me survive finals: Amy’s nondairy mac and cheese. somehow they managed to make it taste just like the real stuff!! 

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^The other thing that’s helping me survive…..MAH PUPPY!!!! sir alfie has been quite confused as to why i am reciting bio flashcards out loud. but the best thing about dogs….they still love you even if you’ve gone a little bit stir crazy from too much studying!! (actually, i probably haven’t studied as much as i SHOULD have….alksgerhgekrgj)

Running updates: currently, every route is extremely snowy so I’ve been returning from runs very much wetter than usual. but i absolutely love running in the snow!! it’s hard, but SO MUCH FUN!! plus, afterwards, there’s a starbucks that my running buddies and i head to after practice conveniently located down the street….:D 

Anyways, sorry this post was short and very random. i will definitely write more this weekend! wish me luck on finals….especially maths and american history…….(insert ominous sounds here)

Question of the Day: Do you like running in the snow?

Week Recap/Randomness

This week has been INSANELY busy. 2 math projects, 2 English projects (including a 15 minute oral presentation this upcoming Tuesday….yikes…) a TOK project, a bunch of other random homework along with finals in less than 2 weeks. Such is the life of the IB estudiante. Lol but the good thing is, once winter break arrives, I’ll be the happiest person alive!! And I’ll have time for reading/sleeping/watching Anima Planet/general fun times and especially running! :D (5 hours of sleep a night is making me turn into a crazy person. good thing someone invented coffee. #myheroforever.)

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^Long runs on Saturday mornings=my fav 

But anywho, track conditioning has started!! Although deep down I’m more of a xc kinda girl, I am beyond excited for track season to start. The weird thing about where I live though (not gonna disclose my exact location because I’m paranoid haha) is that it is a place of extremes. EXTREME heat in the summer (we’re talking heat indexes 102+ degrees) yet extreme, bone chilling, i-wanna-crawl-into-a-hole-and-hibernate cold. And the weather can NEVER make up its mind. Case in point: Monday was a high of 55-ish, partly cloudy, barely windy, aka perfect running weather. Today was a glorious 17 degrees. I think it is safe to say that my hands are still in the thawing process :p 

Another thing I love about going to practice after school again is the people! I think runners, in general, are just some of the awesomest (and weirdest, but I’m pretty weird too) people around. Most of my best friends are runners and I think running with people can be so motivating! You really get to know a person when you’ve spent every practice and meet together–pushing each other, cheering each other on, and wearing matching Christmas socks on accident:

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(For some reason one of my reindeer’s antlers fell off. And yes, my coach enjoys photobombing.)

Not to completely change the subject or anything, but I recently fell rediscovered a whole new meaning to fruit salad. Yes, fruit salad in the winter sounds slightly odd, but trust me–if you try this you will know exactly what I’m talking about!! Just peel an apple, a clementine, add in some frozen berries, (I used blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries) stir it all up–BUT, the secret ingredient is shredded (unsweetened) coconut flakes. It makes the whole thing taste like a majestic pie filling. Plus you get in some vitamins, healthy fats, and a bunch of other delicious good stuff all in one :D

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^This keeps in the fridge for a couple of days (at least)

Well, this has been sorta lengthy, so I better say tata for now. This weekend I’ll be doing lots of homework and boring stuff, so wish me luck on conquering procrastination (i.e., not watching Meet the Sloths on Animal Planet until I at least get half of my projects done!!)

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This here, folks, is a sloth birthday cake. (I’m turning 17 on Monday!!) If you can’t already tell, I’m kind of infatuated with these animals….they’re just so lovable!

 

First post!

Hi internet/blogging world!

I’m guessing that no one will be reading this anytime soon….but I thought it would be fun to create a blog out of the blue lol. In my (rare) free time I love reading other people’s blogs of all sorts (running blogs, science blogs, writing blogs, food blogs, animal blogs, you get the picture) for a while now so I thought, why not? :) So without further ado….here’s an intro to me:

I’m a girl, aged 16 (I turn 17 in 6 days!!!) and I’m a high schooler in the U.S. I have a bunch of random hobbies but I love love love to run. I run cross country at school, and even though I’ve only been running for 2 years, I can’t imagine my life without it. Running is a way I can sort through all my often jumbled-up thoughts, talk to myself (I swear I’m not crazy), think about random stuff or just not think at all, push myself, and just have fun (because if it wasn’t fun, why would I do it?)

Other than running, I’m one of *those* kids who love school/learning, but unfortunately, can be a bit of a procrastinator (which is probably the real reason why I’m writing this right now….let’s be honest lol.) Other things I love:

-Animals!!! (I have 2 dogs who are  my bffls in the furry form)

-Books!! booksbooksbooksbooks (currently I’m going through a John Green phase)

-Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes all of those exclamation points are necessary)

-coffee. oh yes.

-the history channel

-Pretty Little Liars

-Pecan pie

Obviously there are a lot more things than that, but these were just some of the first things that popped into my head (don’t worry Mom, if you ever read this, I love you too!) lol. but I should probably wrap this up. Thanks for stopping by! :D

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